I commit again
With all I am
For You Lord
You hold my world
In the palm of Your hand
And I am Yours forever
Chorus:
Jesus I believe
In You
Jesus I belong
To You
You're the reason that i live
The reason that I sing
With all I am
I'll walk with You
Wherever You go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in You
And I will live
In all of Your ways
And your promises forever
Bridge:
I will worship
I will worship You
I will worship
I will worship You
His princess... out
@ |6:15 AM|
departed on e 24th, a Sunday, and returned on e 26th, tt's yesterday... i shall write abt e itinary here... on e 24th, we went to BL shopping ctr 1st, to get all e documents needed to go to Malaysia; then we put our belongings on e tour bus & went to Mac's to get our breakfast... e bus left at 7 plus... it then proceeded to Tuas checkpoint & aft tt proceeded to e Malaysian customs... aft going thru all e necessary stops & checkpoints, we continued our way to Yong Peng where we stopped to have our breakfast... we got on e bus again, & continued e journey to Genting; & there, we checked into e hotel... did some shopping & exploring at Genting, then took our dinner at night & slept early...
on e 25th, a Monday, we took our breakfast at e cafeteria, & aft tt took a cable car down to change to a bus & headed to our next destination, Kuala Lumpur... we stayed at e Berjaya hotel, known for it's famous 11 storey shopping paradise; & of course above e shopping ctr was e suites whereby tourists stay in... so it was all in 1 building... we checked in 1st, put our belongings in e rooms & went down for lunch... this hotel was by far e best i've stayed in among all e other hotels & i'm not exaggerating... went to e jap restaurant for lunch & aft lunch, we started walking ard, starting from e 1st level onwards... somehow or rather, it seems that e shops are never-ending... aft tt, we went back to e hotel & rest for a while... den we came out again for dinner... had Kenny Roger's for dinner... yummy!! my grandma went back to e room 1st & my parents and i went out again... bought Kenny Roger's chicken for supper, while i bought drinks from Starbucks... back at e room, watched some tv, read e bible & went to sleep...
on e last day, woke up at 8.30am... prepared everything, as in double-check if we put in all our belongings... aft tt we went for breakfast... then we went back to e room, & checked out at 12 plus, den we went for a light lunch... followed by some shopping at e supermart & bought some foodstuffs back... at 2.30pm, we went back to wait for e coach & tt was when we waited for a terribly long time for e coach... at 4.30pm, e coach finally came & we left e hotel & headed back to S'pore... reached home at 10 plus...while on e coach, received 2 sms-es, one was from my fren, e other was from peixiong... he asked me if i haf come back from Malaysia, if i had, gif him a call... when i reached home, aft i washed up & everything, i called him... we talked for an hour den we went to sleep... tt's all tt happened over e last 3 days... but in a nutshell, haf summarised everything... those who want to noe wad happened in detail, feel free to ask me... ha...
overall, can say e trip was alright... but i felt very tired throughout so i didn't really enjoyed myself... tt's all abt it... bye ppl...
His princess... out
@ |5:55 AM|
aft e exam, went off le... took 154 wif val, fikha, siew ying & mel... mel alighted earlier while e rest of us alighted at BL interchange... siew ying & i went to KFC to makan, while fikha & val went seperate ways... aft our lunch, we went to get jayne's present(siew ying dunno her, she just accompanied me)... aft tt, siew ying took a bus home while i walked home... reached home at 1.45pm, then went to shower, followed by another round of lunch(mum called me to come home & eat), den i went to change & get ready to go to church... helped to usher for svc 2 cos i won't b going to church tmr for svc, tt's y i went for svc 2 instead to help out... svc was powerful! well, every svc is... pastor kong preached on e topic of tithes & offerings... yeah!
aft e svc, stayed back in church for recycling... at 7.05pm, jolin asked me to accompany her to B4 logis room to get e thinner... & guess who i saw at e logis room? 1st person i saw was peixiong... was kinda surprised & shocked to see him in church, cos he sprained his ankle last wk & he had to rest at home... but he went for svc 3, & i dunno if he's going down to church tmr... halfway thru', he went up to get his dinner... but he was limping away due to his ankle sprain... i hung ard at e logis room till 7.35pm, den went up to B2 to get my bag... aft tt went up to level 1 to meet jayne & passed her e present... yeah, she loved it... ha...
den we took e church bus to BL, & went to JP for dinner... getting sick of mac's food, but still, we went in... ha... lame... halfway while eating, mum called & asked me where i was, & she told me she was at e supermart... so aft dinner, i went to meet her, whereas jayne went home... took a slow walk back wif mum, reached home at 9 plus... den did all e preps for e trip, which's tmr morning)... will b going to genting & KL, & i'll b home on tues night... shall end here le bah... hafta get up early tmr...
His princess... out
@ |8:10 PM|
aft tt, i called charmaine but her hp was off... i called valerie & she told me to wait for siew ying & her... they reached at 10.10am den we went to class... when we reached, very few ppl were ard, cos i think last minute some of them changed their minds... aft class, siew ying, valerie & i went to clementi for lunch... actually we wanted to eat e porridge from e market but e sad thing was tt e stall was closed... i went like: wad the??? everytime i wanted to eat from tt stall, it was closed... so i brought them to e other coffeeshop & had tom yam handmade noodles instead... one word to describe e food: nice!!! didn't haf tom yam handmade noodles for a while... aft our lunch, we took a bus back... reached home at 2 plus, den went to take a nap... got up at 4 plus 5, & started on some of my work... had dinner, den continued again...
tt's all for today... gotta biah CM le!!!
His princess... out
@ |2:13 PM|
aft everything was over, sharon & i went to e ladies 1st... den we went & look for e rest of e class ppl... went to e atrium, e student services ctr for some of them to pay e full amt for e Awana Genting trip... anyway i'm not going, but i jz followed them la... talk crapz while waiting for them... aft tt, we left e school, at 11 plus 12pm if i'm not wrong... dunno la, cant rmbr le... but anyway, we still left e school... duhh!!! & e class ppl sorta split... some not ard, some went home, some went to makan, & i went to PS wif e rest... but as usual, all of us who were around had a hard time deciding where we wanted to go... but in e end, we decided to go to PS... wanted to go to Cafe Cartel for lunch... so we took a bus down... but in e end, noe wad? we didn't eat at Cafe Cartel, ate at Yoshinoya instead... but some of them pack food from BK... i was thinking: wad the??? anyway i got kinda sick of e food from BK...
so aft eating, we walked ard... details shall b left out... haha... aft tt, went to B2 to get our snacks, & tt's abt 3 plus... sharon & i had pretzels from auntie anne's... simply love e pretzels from there!! didn't eat it for a LONG time... ha... anyway, left PS at 3 plus 4... majority took MRT home, but aaron & i took a bus to clementi(save $$$... we're using bus concession...) on e bus, talked crapz as usual... reach clementi, we went our seperate ways... aaron met his frens, i waited for bus 154 home... reached home at nearly 5pm... den rest a while... tired leh!! studied for ES last night... tired until cannot tahan, so finally plopped into bed at 6pm... aft e nap, felt soooo much better... yup... gotta cont wif e CM revision aft this...
yay! so happie tt 1 paper is finally down... tt's e ES exam!!! yippie!! haiz... anyway, still got 1 more paper on sat, e CM exam... dunno y cant they shift e exam to fri, den aft e paper can enjoy le mah... dun like going back to school on sat, esp for exams... but wad to do?? no choice wad... den sun morning going to genting & KL for holiday wif my family, all e way till tues... i'm not sure how come this time i simply don't haf e feeling of wanting to go for a holiday, compared to last time... but nvm, i'll take it as a form of relaxation & a time for shopping!!! gotta miss fri's cgm; but will b going for sat's make-up cgm & aft tt going to church for svc 3(helping out for usher duty)... anyway, guess this's all le bah... gotta start mugging for CM...
His princess... out
@ |1:41 PM|
but quite happy wif e rate of my revision... in e sense tt i'm able to organise my time properly, & my revision is mostly done... quite pleased in tt sense... thank God man! anyway guess shall blog till here... aft my exams this sat den blog a longer entry... adios!!!
His princess... out
@ |7:47 PM|
aft svc, went up to e cafe to look for my cg members... while i was at e lobby, saw janson... he went for svc5 as well, so i wasn't tt surprised to see him... on my way to e cafe, was thinking wad will happen if i see peixiong... would i cry or would i still put on a smiling face when i see him... but thank God, he wasn't at e cafe & i also dunno where he went... spent some time at e cafe wif my members den aft tt, went over to KFC wif liying to haf my lunch... left at 2 plus 3pm and went over to e bus-stop to take e church bus back to JP... den liying & i went our seperate ways... back at home, slept for a while... den talked to my mum for a while until dinner time...
she asked me wad happened between peixiong & i... actually told her nothing, but e fact is, nothing can escape from her... was on e verge of tears when she asked me... i asked her wad makes her think sth happened, & she told me tt when she wanted to wake me up this morning, she heard me talking in my sleep(scary huh??) furthermore for e past few days, she noticed my eyes were sunken, so she knew sth must haf happened... so i told her everything, & she jz advised me not to think too much abt it... afterall, i've decided to let God handle this whole thing... whether peixiong ends up wif me, it all lies in God's plans... my 1st priority now is my studies, family, & of course God! relationship matters... i shall leave it aside ba...
wad happened over e past 2 days--->in a nutshell... on friday, called jayne in e morning & she asked me wad happened e previous night, so told her everything... den came online for a while... aft tt, janson called me & talked till dunno wad time... den aft tt i left home... went to BP library to return books & did self-study there... liying called me & asked me if she could join me, so i told her how to get there... spent some time at library, den went down to mac's... meanwhile, iqlimah called me & asked me wad happened, so i had to repeat e whole story again... aft tt, we left BP and went over to BB for cgm... was touched by e presence of God, & i cried like nobody's business... aft cgm was over, stayed behind & watched Sg idol den left e house wif some of e other members at 9pm or so... reached home at 9 plus 10pm... did some CM den went to sleep...
den yesterday... stayed at home e whole day... did revision, as usual... at 5 plus, went to JP to meet my mum for dinner... aft tt came home & continued wif my usual stuffs... talked on e phone a little, den went to read e bible... slept at 2 plus... tt explains why i overslept this morning... ha...
yeah, tt's wad happened these few days... today's sermon was alright, though not really practical for youths now, but guess we'll definitely need it next time... pastor Kong spoke on financial issues... apart from tt, still feeling upset over wad happened... but anyway nvm, i believe God will settle everything asap... but nevertheless, i still wanna thank God for being everything to me... as well as my members, frens, & my bro-in-christ who're always there to hear my probs... thx for everything ppl! lastly, not forgetting, my dearest mum, who's always there to gif me advice & encouragement... thx for everything!!
His princess... out
@ |3:34 PM|
while in bed, i msged peixiong & asked him wad bus i can take to bukit batok from bukit panjang... he replied... aft a long while, he suddenly msged me again and told me a very disappointing thing... tt's he felt we should stop contacting each other for a period of time except for usher stuff... i saw the msg, & i was like totally shocked cos i didn't expect him to msg me such a thing at such a late hr... moreover, wad makes him suddenly tell me this? i merely asked him wad bus i can take, does it mean anything?? y must he msg me tt he feels we should stop contacting each other??? is there anything wrong??? so i replied him & asked him y he suddenly told me this... he said he feels tt i don't understand wad he told me e other day, & tt i'm being emotional... i then told him tt i got wad he talked abt e other day & i asked him wad makes him think i do not? tt i'm not emotional, wad makes him think i am? also told him not to say things tt r not true... and i sent him another msg: asking him not to say such things in future cos it's not very nice as it's rather hurting... he replied me saying tt it's better to say it out although it's hurting, rather than keeping it unsaid cos he feels it's kinda unwise... wth!!!! so i just simply replied him tt i already mentioned earlier tt i knew wad he told me e other day; & i asked him if he meant we're gonna cut off contact completely, at e same time also ask him not to say such words to me... but this time he didn't reply... so i sent him another msg, telling him we need to haf a good talk...
i mean... c'mon lar... all girls are emotional right? same goes for me wad... even some guys are emotional too... so being emotional is not an excuse!!! i dunno y he gifs me tt... furthermore, e 2 reasons he gave me, i can tell he's just trying to run away, but i dunno if he's really avoiding me... so hopefully i get an explanation from him... i noe he won't let me down... i noe i've not trusted e wrong person & i noe tt i've not 'chosen' e wrong person... tho' now it's still too early to decide if he's e one God has placed in my life, however, i still believe in my choice... tt's y i lift this up to God... he's e one tt'll solve all my probs, b it big or small... wadeva may happen in future, i'm not sure of it, but i lift this whole situation into God's hands cos i noe tt God'll put someone into my life soon enough... i dunno if it's peixiong or other ppl tt God'll place in my life, but i just wanna trust in e Lord! same goes for peixiong, he ever told me tt he'll wait for e one tt God will place in his life... anyway, i've decided, i'm gonna concentrate on my studies & God's word 1st, relationship comes 2nd priority...
guess tt's all le bah... meanwhile, do hope tt things will b settled very soon, so tt we're able to contact each other like before... i don't want things to come to this point... but i believe God's able to solve this problem, cos i've told God abt it... yup, tt's all le lo... hopefully peixiong will noe wad he's talking abt... how long does it mean when he said tt we should stop contacting each other for a period of time??? one last thing i wanna tell him is tt i understand wad he talked abt e other time... yepz... so i hope he can come back like before... haiz, really feel so tired abt this issue... y must he msg me this?? anyway, God shall handle it! gtg le... try to get some sleep...
His princess... out
@ |12:15 AM|
His princess... out
@ |7:14 PM|
so we talked till 12 plus den she went to sleep... i didn't sleep aft tt... cos i was on e phone wif him until 1 plus... meanwhile he told me to ask jayne to call his hp so tt e 3 of us could haf a phone conference... i called jayne & asked her to call his hp, she said she'll call a while ltr... while waiting, we talked crap lor... aft 20 mins, still no sign of her calling in... so i called jayne a 2nd time, & she said she'll call him immediately... as expected, still no sign of her call, so he told me he'll call her instead... finally, jayne called, & e 3 of us talked nonsense again... funny man! was laughing all e while... haha... siao already... so aft conferencing for 10 mins or less, jayne hung up cos she was using her hp to call & outgoing calls r very ex... den left wif him & i on e phone, but aft 1 min, he put down cos he went to take his supper... haiz, cant b helped, guess he was hungry... so aft tt, i went to sleep le... guess e time was 1 plus... forgot le...
striked off a lot of details... dun feel like blogging too much cos exams r coming... next wk start le... got 2 papers, one on wed(20th oct) & e other on sat(23 oct)... haiz, y must e exam fall on sat??? i dun like... still hafta go back to sch on sat... dunno y they cant push up to fri, den sat can rest mah... but cant b helped la, so i jz go along lor, complain also no use... den on e 23rd, my parents will b going to Malaysia, whereas i'll b in sg 'enjoying' myself... ha... but guess i'll b going 2 church on tt day to help out... sun also helping out for svc...
guess this is all le bah... gonna do work le... tonight can rest early & get up early tmr... gonna do self-study again tmr morning & afternoon, den go for powerhouse tmr night... not too sure if he's meeting me for dinner tmr cos he meets me for dinner on certain thursdays... y? cos he gotta go to church for logis... yupz... but nvm, he'll re-confirm tmr again... anyway, gtg le...
His princess... out
@ |5:05 PM|
anyway, reached home at 6.45pm... den ate my dinner, rested a while, den went to take a shower... aft tt came in to check my email, & some of e online stuffs... ya lor... btw, it's a very short blog right? tt's cos i dun feel like typing a long entry, tt's y i striked out alot of details... earlier i mentioned le, anyone interested to noe how my day went can come & ask me directly, my hp incoming calls free... =p
anyway end here le bah... guess tmr den i type longer entry... but at e same time must see if i got e mood to type a long entry... bye ppl!!!
His princess... out
@ |5:49 PM|
went to bits & pieces 1st, looked at e diff silver accessories, cos intended to get a pair of earrings for her... aft tt went to charles & keith, also intended to get her a pair of sandals... aft tt walked to prettyfit & looked at e sandals again... widen all my choices... den went over to taka, & went practically to every level... when i was at Zed & Zee, he msged me... was kinda surprised to receive an sms fr him... he asked me where i was, & asked me if i was at bugis... i told him i was at taka not bugis, so i asked him if he was at bugis & he told me he was on e bus towards orchard... so i told him to call me when he reached taka...
he called me at 3 plus & asked me which part of taka i was at... told him i was at kinokuniya... i walked out of e stationery section & went to e fiction books section cos i thot he'll come in fr tt section... 10 mins ltr, he called me again & asked me which part of kinokuniya i was at... told him i was at e fiction section & he told me he doesn't noe where tt was, so i asked him where he was & went over to look for him instead... found him le, went down to basement... took my lunch while he waited... aft lunch, went to walk ard e diff levels in taka... aft tt went over to wisma, showed him e sandals & stuff... he suggested getting a tee for e present, so we looked ard at every shop, but aft tt we went over to HMV & look ard again... cnnt find any suitable one, so we went over to centrepoint... he took a drink at mac's whereas i waited...
but he was kinda weird today... we were very very quiet for e 1st few mins... we looked at each other, but still didn't say anything, den he went to order a drink... aft tt he came back, sat down, den look at me & asked me if i got anything to ask him... & i was like thinking y did he suddenly ask me this... i told him i got nothing to ask him, & he told me he feels tt i got certain things to ask him... asked him y he thinks tt i got sth to ask him, & in e end he told me tt it was common sense... so in e end, i jz asked him some stuffs & he ans as per normal... aft a while, when i stopped asking him, he told me tt this wasn't e qn on my mind... den i told him to jz ans my qns directly so i dun haf to ask him... he told me he prefers me to ask him directly, but i still didn't dare to ask him(dunno y...) i kept asking him y he wants to noe, & he told me we needed to haf a good talk... he said wadeva i wanted to ask jz shoot e qn to him & he'll ans me straight... so i jz asked him lor... however, i still haf yet to ask him lots of stuff... alot of qns r still running in my mind... i cant possibly ask him everything in one short cos he had lessons at 6.45pm & he'll b late if we still dun leave at tt time...
aft tt, he went his way, i went my way... took train to city hall, went raffles city to take my dinner... left at 7 plus & took a train back to boon lay... went to jp to buy some stuffs(as usual), den walked home... reached home at 8.45pm... tt's all tt happened today... guess gotta wait for his call ltr... meanwhile go do my CM le... byeee...
His princess... out
@ |7:18 PM|
today's msg was power-packed... Pastor Kong shared abt e Holy Spirit, tt he's come to set us free! can sense e presence of God... & at e end of e svc, there was an altar call(praying for all e businessmen & entrepreneurs), & it was a massive one... many went out, got prayed for, thereafter they went back to their seats... i went to help out in controlling e flow of e crowd... aft svc, was clearing e zone, den went to B2 for debriefing... we dun need to help out in recycling as there was e next svc ushers helping us... so i went opp to e coffeeshop to look for my cg members... was supposed to go for cgm today, but cant make it cos my mum wants me to stay home & study for exams... they left at 12 plus, while i stayed at e coffeeshop wif my other members...
den mum called & asked me where i was, told her i was at e coffeeshop; & she told me she was also at e coffeeshop, so i went to look for her... well... she also went for today's svc, tt's y she went over to e coffeeshop also... so i sat down, talked to her abt many stuffs... & e surprising thing was tt she asked me where peixiong was... ya... it's funny la... e way she asked... so jz talked as per normal lor... den aft tt, she left, while i went to buy my lunch & went back to join my cg members... aft eating, germaine & i went back to church to wait for jasmine, while e rest took a bus back... went to cafe & waited for a while, & there i saw peixiong wif his cg members... den aft tt went to e bookstore to look at e bibles & stuff... waited at lobby till 1.40pm, when svc 5 ended... while waiting for jasmine, i saw some1 super familiar--->janson chan, my classmate, but he didn't see me... aft he left wif his cg members, saw sean & peixiong(guess they went opp church to get sth)... sean saw me, said hi, i dunno if peixiong saw me, but nvm...
aft tt, jasmine, germaine & i left church, together wif some of my other cg members... but before tt saw decai at e lobby & asked him where he was going... so aft i left church, gave him a call, & he told me he was at coffeeshop, so i went over for a short while... msged peixiong when i was at e coffeeshop... but e funny thing was tt aft i msged him, i looked up & saw him at e other end wif e ic's, having meeting i guess... not sure if he saw me... den aft tt, he left wif e other ic's but i stayed till 3pm... & i went over to e bus-stop wif decai... i took bus 242, he took church bus... went jp to buy sth tt my mum told me to, den walked home...
overall a tired day... but ltr going jp wif my mum again... tt's all i guess...
His princess... out
@ |11:32 AM|
so i switched on my laptop & started on CM... cos all my CM chpts r saved inside my laptop... haha... i'm lazy, tt's y i didn't buy e CM textbook, jz simply d/l fr my sch's webby... lazy? yesh, i admit i am... quite pleased wif myself larz... managed to do quite a bit... did fr 4 plus all e way to dinner-time... aft dinner, rest a while, watch a bit of tv wif my parents, den went to take a shower, & aft tt resumed wif my work till 10 plus, den came online for a while...
jz talked to him for a while... he's still in church... yepz, he always goes down on saturdays... for me, it's only sun tt i go down but not every sat... some more now making preps for exams, tt's y all e more, i cant go down cos got lotz of stuffs to do... but nvm, in 2 wks time, i'll b totally free then, cos exams r over!!! aft exams, already planned to go to amk wif my member--->eat AJ ice, den go walk walk... yup yup...
kkz, back to e topic... talked to him for a short while... & i mean it's really short... talked to him for less than 5 mins(dun ask me how long it was exactly), & tt's by far e shortest time tt i talked to him on e phone... usually i'll talk to him for more than an hr... it's not tt he's busy, in fact he's rather free now(tt's wad he told me), but i dunno y... somehow... got a feeling tt i dun really noe how to explain... & it's not a good feeling... ya...
so asked him if he's still gonna get e present on mon, & he asked me wad i intend to get... mayb a bag or sth lor... so he asked me to shop ard for e present 1st den msg him e price... but one person shop alone, ideas very limited leh! dunno if he's a little slow in thinking or wad, thot he'll get e point to go wif me to get e present... but i shan't force him cos he told me he won't b free on mon... mayb cos he got lessons in e evening, but i'm going in e afternoon leh, dunno how come he's still unable to go... but nvm, shall confirm again tmr... yes, e 'sad' part came, he told me he won't b having breakfast tmr morning... well, i'm not sad actually, rather used to it le... but dunno y, somehow i feel things don't seem positive... dun ask me y i think in this way... feel we're communicating lesser & lesser, topics talked abt r getting lesser also, times we talked on e phone also lesser(at most 5 mins or less), & we also seldom meet up for dinner now(usually we do)... haha... i can still laugh at this point... wth...
mixed feelings right now... should i give up or hold on?? feelings seem to b fading away... my mind tells me to gif up, my heart tells me to hold on, or is it e other way round? i'm not so sure... but i choose to hold on... no matter how slim e chances MIGHT seem, i still choose to hold on... ppl tell me: michelle, dun b stubborn, gif him up ba, gif him up & consider another relationship... but all i can say is: i'm NOT gonna gif up... mayb i will in a few yr's time, but so far, i dun haf e intention yet, & dun ask me why...
listening to fish leong, ru guo you yi tian(another song tt reminds me of us)... ru guo you yi tian, wo men zai jian mian, shi jian hui bu hui dao tui yi dian, ye xu wo men dou hu lue, bu xiang shang hai zhi wai de gan jue; ru guo na yi tian, wo men dou fa xian, hao ju hao san bu guo shi zhong che yan, ru guo wo men mei fa xian, jiu gei bi ci duo yi dian shi jian...
haha... nice song ain't it? really meaningful(listen to e lyrics if any of u got e chance)... btw it's jz e chorus only... anyway, i should b thinking of my preps 1st, not him... after all, i'll b seeing him in church tmr... so no matter wad, i hope i won't be affected... jz gonna do my duty properly... it's late now, gotta go sleep soon, if not i'll oversleep... mz haf enough rest, if not i'll haf tt panda look-alike... haha... lame... yepz, so this ends my entry tonight... wanna go rest le...
feeling: tired, really tired...
His princess... out
@ |7:59 PM|
today, got up at 11 plus... wad to do? slept late last night tt's y woke up late... went to wash up, den listened to some music 1st while waiting for my mum to pack my brunch from clementi... she reached home at 12 plus(cant rmbr e exact time...) aft eating, went to do my work le... now starting on CM... shall leave ES aside 1st...
tmr gotta wake up very early, abt 5.30am or earlier... gotta reach church by 7.30am for usher duty... but most prob meeting him for breakfast tmr, so to b exact, hafta reach coffeeshop by 6.45am... but dunno wad time we're meeting, tt's y tonight must confirm again... hope he doesn't end up saying he doesn't wanna meet tmr(like wad happened last wk)... overall, tt concludes tt i'll hafta get into bed early, so tt i won't oversleep...
yup yup... guess tt's all... tried to shorten this entry & left out all e major details... guess i won't b updating my blog as frequent cos gotta prepare for e upcoming exams... mayb once in 2 or 3 days will i update my blog... anyway, hope my exams will b ez enough for me to handle & by God's grace, i believe i'm able to!! anyway i'll do my best! yepz, shall end here... gotta go start mugging for my preps...
His princess... out
@ |7:15 AM|
on mon, tt's e 4th Oct, lessons as usual... had ES practical from 8-10am, but didn't end at 10am exactly, ended at 9 plus instead... but tt's not e end of e day, we still had CM from 3-5pm... actually acc to our usual schedule, we had PSP from 10-12pm... however, on sun night, received an sms from iqlimah tt from this wk onwards, there won't b anymore PSP lessons... so tt leaves a 5 hr break on mon... aft practical, some of my classmates thot of asking e teacher if they could shift up e lessons... but i didn't join them as i arranged to meet my fren at clementi cos she had to go for a check-up at e polyclinic... aft everything finished, we went to jalan jalan at e pasar malam at clementi central... saw sth tt caught our eyes---> tt's e Precious Moments poster & jigsaw puzzle... jz so cute!!! esp when we're Precious Moments lovers, can imagine us going gaga over them... hung ard there for a while, meanwhile calling ppl if they want, so she called her supervisor & i called him, & asked if he wants e stuff... but in e end, we didn't buy... so we walked ard clementi till abt 1 plus den we went to makan again... den i took a bus to sch... met janson at NP bus-stop den headed for lessons, but guess wad? only e 3 of us went for CM: janson, kooichi & me... aft tt went SIM for dinner, den headed home... tt's all for mon...
on tues, 5th Oct, lessons as usual(actually everyday, lessons also as usual lor...) lessons started at 10am onwards... aft tt thot of going down to clementi to purchase e jigsaw puzzle, but in e end didn't cos very tired, anyway i may also b going down on thurs... so i went home... reached home at 7pm... took dinner, rested a while, watched a bit of tv den went to do my work...
den yesterday, 6th Oct, reached sch at 8am... meanwhile on e bus, iqlimah called me & asked me dunno wad, & i asked her if she was going for e ES tutorial, she said no... but i was thinking if i should go or not, cos need to study for e CSA test at 10am... and so in e end, at e bus-stop, saw valerie... aft tt charmaine and leonard reached... in e end, we decided to go to e library and revise... but called one of my classmates, siangling, told her tt we're not going for ES & asked her wad e teacher did... she told us tt e teacher returned our quiz & tutorials but did nothing much... den went for e test... aft tt, 11.30am, went for our break, den went for ES lecture from 1-3pm... aft class, called him & chit chat a while... aft tt, headed to PS to meet him for a short while... left at 5 plus, whereas he went back to YMCA to study while waiting for his BS to start at 7.45pm...
finally, today... had our last session of S&W... had a test today... overall okay la... only tt i didnt keep up wif e music, however e whole class passed! praise God!! so sch finished at 10 plus... sat wif my classmates at canteen 2 while waiting for jayne... cos she arranged earlier on tues to 'visit' my school today... when she reached, showed her ard my sch, talked abt lame stuffs(as usual), den dilly-dally here & there... finally left at 12 plus... aft tt headed to clementi--->pasar malam, showed here e Precious Moments stuffs... we bought e jigsaw puzzle(3 for $10... wad for buy so expensive one?) she took 1 & i took e remaining 2... aft tt took bus 154 fr e interchange back to boon lay... reached at 2pm or ltr... cant rmbr le... went to jp to buy peach tea... thirsty mah... den walked home together(stay near each other... hehe...) reached home i came online le lor... check stuffs, blog this entry, & chatted here & there... guess jayne must b doing her jigsaw bah... anyway it's her last paper tmr, so she's kinda free... btw, wanna wish her all e best for her paper tmr... last paper le, jiayou!
yup yup... tt's basically wad happened these few days... shortened everything... anyway, shall end here... very tired, so wanna take a rest den start on my ES revision... mz not slack le!!! 'suffer' for these few days, den can enjoy myself aft tt... cant wait for tt day to come!!! meanwhile jz pray for everything to go on smoothly... so frens, jiayou! jz a few more days... those who finish exams or r finishing soon, u've done ur best so dun worry! leave it all to God! anyway tc ppl...
His princess... out
@ |7:55 PM|
and to pei xiong: even tho' u may not get to read this, still wanna let u noe tt i dun wanna force u to accept my feelings... really dun want... cos i noe u dun like to b forced... btw who does? however, pls dun hide anything can? it's like certain things u wanna say yet u dun feel like saying; or certain things u say once & when asked to repeat wad u've said, u dun want to repeat... hey, dun think i didn't hear u... actually i heard u lor, it's jz tt i act blur only... anyway i jz dun like to force u in certain areas(u noe it), and pls dun think otherwise ya? so overall, wad i wanna say is tt, dun feel forced or anything can? makes me feel a little odd...
and to anyone out there, sorry guys if i've said anything wrong... will take note of it...
His princess... out
@ |12:20 PM|
back to e topic... so i asked him if he wants to meet at interchange 1st den go down together, & again he told me tt we meet straight at church... k lor, since he dun want den nvm lor, also dun want to force him, in case he gets mad again... he's e kind of person tt doesn't like to b forced, if not ppl will see e fierce side of him(btw he seldom gets angry...) so i got ready, did e necessary preps & left my house at 7.10am... considered early, cos reporting time for ushers serving communion was 8am, some more i'm staying a few streets away from church... dunno y i left home so early, was thinking of going earlier to help out wif all e necessary preps before e rest of e ushers came... headed for e interchange & took bus 242 to church... reached at 7.30, which was like so early, & i went down to B2--->tt's where e ushers report for communion... no one was in sight, so i went up to level 1... guess wad? while i was waiting for e lift, i saw weiqi(another usher)... so we went to tt area again to double-check if we miss anyone out... went there again but still, no one was ard... so we went up to level 1 to wait...
a while ltr, saw sis hope and bro kenneth, 2 team ic's from my section & they were taking e lift down to B2... we waited for a while in case they came up again... after a while, no sign of them, so we went down... forgot to press e level & e lift went down to B4... sis hope came in & we chatted for a while, meanwhile e lift went up to B2 & weiqi and i went out whereas sis hope went up to level 1... waited at e support area at B2, den bro weishi & bro kenneth came... only e 4 of us were there, but less than 5 mins ltr, he came along(ya... e he tt i always talk abt... btw to save u'll from getting a headache, his name is peixiong... so mayb next time i'll type out his name instead of saying 'he' all e time...) weiqi, peixiong & i den went up to level 4 to get e leftover wine from yesterday's svc...
kkz... gonna zoom in now... so when all e ushers were present, we prepared e elements & did all e usual stuffs(can msg me for more info... hahaz...) we were allocated to e diff zones as well---> as in which part of e hall r we gonna give out e communion elements... aft everything, we all went down for prayer mtg & after praise songs, we had to come up to B2 again to position ourselves... busy, but it was great serving God... aft communion, went for e svc... svc was great! today's msg was given by Rev. Dr. Stephen Sumrall & he's from e US... can sense e presence of God, esp during e altar call, many ppl responded & receive Jesus into their hearts...
aft svc, went to e coffeeshop wif all my members and stayed till 12 plus... den jolin called me & asked me to help her get food(she's sick btw) so, met her at e coffeeshop & we went over to church aft she finished eating... called peixiong and asked him if he was still at e Logis room, but he said he was at cafe cos he finished his logis duty... so i acc jolin down 1st den i went to e cafe to look for e rest of my members... not all of them were ard, some went home, some went for ministry... saw peixiong who was sitting at e table behind my members... guessed he didn't see me, tt's y he called my hp, only did i look at him den he hang up... mouthed out e words to me: where's jolin? silly boy, can come up to me & ask me but he didn't... anyway, i stayed till 2.35pm den left, he stayed till 1 plus 2pm...
reached home at 3pm, den did some work... my mum asked me to take a nap so tt i'll feel more refreshed... received a msg from jolin(good thing i havent slept yet, if not i'll b real grouchy...) she told me peixiong went for svc 6 & they're eating at e coffeeshop... so i was like, kinda upset... dunno y... it's not tt i'm sensitive or wad... but i feel tt whenever i ask him along for dinner, he'll say he cnnt make it, yet now she told me tt they're eating... win liao... whenever i closed my eyes, dunno y, i'll picture them at coffeeshop... funny right? anyway i cont sleeping till 7 plus... jolin msg-ed me again & asked me if i wanna meet her... told her would confirm again... but in e end, i called her & told her i won't b meeting her cos need to do my work... so ya...
my day was overall okay, but i'm still feeling tired tho' i took a nap... anyway shall blog again tmr...
His princess... out
@ |6:46 PM|
kkz, back to e topic... called him and asked him where was he, and he told me was reaching soon & told me to head to B4 1st... e prob was no one was ard, but anyway i jz headed down to B4 and sat on e steps outside e logis room(also known as e usher store)... he called me back at 11.35am or so, & asked me to go up to level 1 support area(a place where ushers usually gather to do e service bulletins)... went up, & there i saw e other ushers... and of course, saw him... had to take down our name, time we report, our team & contact no on e paper given... den were given e allocations... 10 ppl were called to help out in ensuring tt all e children had their tags/stickers(meaning they signed up at e respective booths), e rest of us proceeded to e lobby whereby we were allocated by another children's church worker... 3 ppl did lift ushering, another 6 were assigned to help out in e 'flow' of e crowd, 2 were e so-called toilet guards(helping to check if children were playing wif e taps), & e remaining 6 went down to B4 to help out for e service...
i helped out in many areas like directing e 'flow' & lift ushering(meaning assist e crowd to press e lift if they were going up/down...) some more there was e JAMS church service going on at e same time, & we were also told to help direct and clear e crowd aft e JAMS service ended, so as to prevent them to wander ard e lobby... at e same time direct e parents & their children to e other side of e lobby so as to prevent clashing... was kinda busy cos short-handed & each of us had to help out in many areas, however, it felt really great serving God! felt so much more refreshed & tt God could use us in so many areas no matter how young we are! much as i find pleasure to serve e Lord as well as e ppl, i had to leave early... i left at 1.30pm cos i had to rush down to marsiling for cgm... no doubt tiring, but i still went wif a heart of expectancy to receive sth from God...
reached marsiling at 2.30pm... was combined cgm, alot of ppl were present... waited for a while for my other members who haven't arrived... when most of us reached, we left e mrt station & headed for alex's house for cgm... started wif e usual stuffs---> games, testimonies, praise & worship, den my cgl started preaching... today's msg was: walking wif God(dun wanna go into content, if not this will really b a super long blog... interested ppl can msg me... hehe...) could sense e presence of e Holy Spirit in tt place... den aft cgm, came e offering & thereafter, e announcements...
my cgl, sis veron, shared wif us 2 announcements which everyone didn't expect & we were like shocked... one of them was e birth of a new cg!!!!--->W299(which means 4 cellgroups multiplied to 5 cellgroups now) & e other announcement was e reshuffling of members... e sad thing is tt my cg W238 was affected, in e sense some members are transferred out whereas some still remained... & i'm one of e ppl who're transferred out, now i'm in N162... sad? hmmm, there's bound to b lo, cos i've been in W238 all along & now i'm transferred out... but nvm, i trust tt God has a greater plan for me in N162, and i lift everything up to him!! now i'm not affected by e change le, cos i noe no matter which cg i may b in, i'll still b able to grow in God's glory! at e same time, will also get a chance to noe my other members better...
aft everything, left early wif 4 other members: sarah, mei juan, liying & huixian... but at e traffic lights, robert managed to catch up wif us... could see tt he was in a rush(had to work)... guess ill see his real tired look tmr cos he ever told me tt he usually reach home at 2am on sat nights aft work & he'll haf like 2 hrs of sleep only... understand his plight cos i've ever been thru' it as well... y? cos i ever had 0 hrs of sleep... pathetic? yeah...
took e mrt... during e journey, my mum called me & asked me where i am... told her where i was, she started nagging at me & asked me all e usual stuffs... told her everything... felt a little irritated and frustrated... & seriously... i'm really VERY tired of such incidents... it's not e 1st time it happened... mayb i was at fault, but i'm trying my very best to change... anyway, when i reached home, it was already 6 plus... went to take a shower, den checked my hp for any msgs or missed calls... true enough, got 3 missed calls, all from e same person: he... i returned his call & he told me tt he thot i was supposed to help out for communion, told him tt i'm not helping out as i've told our team ic tt i couldn't make it... & he was like quite... i dunno wad's e word... but definitely isn't a good word... ha... and he told me to inform him next time cos our ic was down wif fever... e shocking thing's tt i wasn't even informed tt our ic had a fever & i told him... he went like: "u dunno meh?" so he asked me y i'm unable to help out, i told him tt my mum find it quite funny to serve 2 times, some more when my tests & exams r ard e corner... den when i was talking halfway, his tone was like cutting me off... i felt a little irritated... i mean, i'm giving u e reason but now u're cutting me off... cant b bothered le... haiz... u wanna listen den go ahead, if u dun want den leave it... no matter how busy u may b, u shouldn't b speaking like this... kkz, i noe i sound a little put off, & i dun wanna feel this way nor do i wanna b angry wif u, but it's not e 1st time this's happening... mayb u didn't realise it, but sometimes ur mood is a little, u noe... dunno if i've told u, but it's e fact... dun ask me y i'm speaking like this, cos i may or may not say it out no matter how much u wanna noe... it's not difficult to noe, jz think & figure it out slowly...
i feel it's always me sacrificing more but i dun get anything in return, & hey, i'm not complaining abt this, but i hope tt u can try to b more understanding... i dun ask for anything in return nor do i expect sth in return... wonder if u rmbr tt i ever told u i'll wait for u till u come out of NS? mayb u may haf forgotten, but i'll nv forget e promise i made to u... dunno y i feel this way... mayb it's e fact tt u're e person i loved e longest, dunno when this will fade away, but i hope this feeling will stay forever... there're many things tt i wanna tell u, but u're pre-occupied wif many other stuffs, so words r usually left unspoken... thinking abt it, i'm not sure where to start... it's jz all e mixed feelings... but jz wanna let u noe tt i really treasure e times where we ate breakfast, lunch & dinner; e time spent talking on e phone; e times whereby we went out...
anyway, dunno y i write so much abt him... haven't even told him my blog add, but somehow, one day he'll noe... ha... didnt noe i wrote so much... k la, shall end here ba... gotta wake up at 5 plus tmr---> need to reach church by 7.30am to help out in communion for e svc, & will also b meeting him for breakfast tmr... still need to look thru my PSP & my other modules b4 i go to bed ltr... so anyway, nitez ppl...
His princess... out
@ |7:53 PM|
had 2 hrs of CM lesson this afternoon... teacher was covering on e topic of statistics, but majority of e class wasn't really paying attention as everyone was busy studying for e ES quiz (tt's an hr aft e CM lesson) and tt includes me (speak as if i'm so proud of it... hehe...) didn't noe why, felt so sleepy & tired during e lesson, guess majority felt tired too---> could see it from their faces today... den dunno wad's got into me, went crazy during CM lesson... e teacher didn't notice, but my classmate did & she commented tt was a little crazy... funny thing is tt she also went bonkers aft tt... influenced by me? dunno... mayb last day of e week, tt's y happy mah...
ES quiz was ok for me, except tt i forgot 1 or 2 formulae... but i jz wrote down e formula, cos mayb it'll b correct... nv noe... btw, was given only 50 mins to finish e whole paper... and can say i was kinda well-prepared for this as i re-do e tutorials at home... so quite happy tt i made full use of my time to study at home... but anyway, thx to those who helped me, esp siew ying and fikha: u'll noe it... thx!
aft class, waited outside for e rest of my classmates so tt we could go down together... but in e end, some went into e lift 1st & they went off earlier, & a few of us were left behind... i wasn't heading home cos janson was supposed to teach me PSP for a while, so i waited for him outside e class wif e others who haven't left... at 1st, thot he went to e gents as i didn't see him taking e lift, so cont waiting... after 15 mins, still no sign of him... so thot to myself tt mayb i should go down 1st and tried contacting him meanwhile... guess wad? his hp was off... called him 3-4 times, but still couldn't get him... so i headed to e atrium & saw charmaine, valerie and matin... asked them if they saw janson but none of them saw him... i then accompanied maine & val into e campus deli, meanwhile still contacting janson... den out of nowhere, janson suddenly appeared: right behind my back some more, gave me a shock... told me his hp no batt, and i was like:"diaoz"... and this guy forgot tt he was supposed to teach me PSP, until when he was at e bus-stop, he suddenly rmbr-ed and rushed back to sch again... anyway, janson, if u're reading this, would like to say a big thank you for taking e time & effort to explain everything!! thx!! now can understand better le... hee...
left sch at 5 plus... took bus 184 to bukit panjang den change to bus 180 back to boon lay... during e journey, msg-ed him & asked him if he wants to come for dinner since it's on e way for both of us... he said he won't b having dinner at tt time every fri, so i told him now i noe it since he informed me abt it... and he told me tt he thot i noe abt it, tt's y he didnt really msg-ed me... but e truth is i didn't noe... dunno y, aft tt he apologised to me & said it's his fault... it's really not ur fault ya? so aft tt, msg-ed him tt i was sorry if i've seemed persistent or irritating at times and haf really put him off... but anyway, jz wanna let u noe, no matter wad mistakes u make (u noe it), i'll still forgive ya... sorry too, if i've made u really mad sometimes... and i really appreciate everything u've done... no doubt u may not b aware of it, but i can sense it... so, it's really not ur fault ya? mayb it's mine... =)
lastly, to all e kids out there, happy children's day!! i'm no longer a child but a grown-up teenager... however, i miss e times whereby i celebrate children's day... and of course, to my parents, i'm still a child to them and they often worry for me... would like to say a big thank you to them!!! thx mom & dad for everything u've done for me!!! without u'll, i won't b wad i am today...
guess, shall end here... gonna cont my revision ltr & go to bed early as i've gotta help out for children's church tmr morning... having children's day celebrations... and aft helping out, gotta rush down to marsiling for cgm... so tmr's gonna b another usual day for me, but i'm believing for God's special touch during cgm tmr, and i hope to receive another breakthrough from God! no doubt i may b busy tmr, but i believe tt God will give me e strength to tide thru tmr... nitez ppl...
His princess... out
@ |6:30 PM|
had S&W 1st in e morning... joined dancesports as my Sports and Wellness program... today was e 2nd last lesson and we're gonna haf an exam next wk, mainly testing us on our dance steps--> whether we noe e order and also whether we can count and keep up with e rhythm... today was stressful la... why? cos e teacher called e class to sit down and asked each of us to dance individually with our partners in front... but fortunately, we didnt forget our steps! heez... thank God! ya... guess tt's wad happened during S&W today...
and today for O-Comm, e 2nd group did their formal presentation... i was in e 1st group and we didnt hafta present today cos we did it last wk... so we jz sat down and listened to e rest of e speakers... topics were interesting, and i must say, all of you did well! thumbs up! finally everything was over le, so guys can take a good break ya? btw today was e last O-Comm we had, and next wk there's no more O-Comm but only got S&W la---> got exam... haiz, but nvm, i believe i can do it! so since it's e last O-Comm today, my class took a class photo using shawn's camera... was funny in e sense tt e girls didnt want to stand in front, until we found out tt e camera could not take all of us, only den did we 'squeeze' in front... but silly me... wore PE shirt to take class photo, felt a bit awkward, but anyway nvm, cos there were 2 others who also wore PE shirt... hahaz, so i'm not e only one...
aft my O-Comm lesson, i went over to e library to look for my classmates... MediaCorp radio Y.E.S 93.3 crew were at e atrium, shooting for e School Belle and Beau... ya, so e atrium was super packed out!!! ppl also stood at e spiral staircase but couldnt see anything as there were too many ppl i guess... so headed to e project rm, but dunno y, my legs suddenly became very 'suan'... anyway, spent my time at library till 3pm, den came home le... on e way out of sch, saw my fren florence, said hi to her den went off... actually was expecting to reach home much later, cos actually got plans to study with him, but in e end was cancelled cos he cnnt make it... haiz... everytime arrange with him in advance still cnnt... dunno y... haiz... nvm la... he's a super duper busy person i guess, always got a lot of activities going on... eg last night, told me he's going to play badminton tt's y today's study thingy cancelled lor... was thinking: nvm la, forget it, dun wanna make it seem tt i'm forcing u, up to you lor, jz noe tt i'm a little disappointed...
but anyway, my God-brother smsed me when i was in e library---> concerned for me mah... heez... so chatted with him thru sms all e way lor... xin tong leh, 13 msgs sent... but nvm la, since didnt really use up my smses, and he's my God-brother, so nvm lor... asked me stuffs abt me and him--->my imaginary 'DeaR'... haha... so tell him everything i noe lor... so ya... anyway, wont b updating again ltr... will be busy le... so tmr den, another new post... tatas ppl!
His princess... out
@ |2:12 PM|