right now, gotta mug mug mug... as ya all noe la... i haf 4 papers in all but i believe i can do it! well... as for e timing, it's a bit funny... weird in e sense... e time difference for e papers r really weird & yupp... bad... okay... i dun wanna b negative... haaaa... must continue to b positive! :)
so yupp... do hope ya guys remain positive as well yeah... to all who r taking exams as well, u'll r in my prayers too! ;)
His princess... out
@ |5:32 PM|
e good news is i've cleared one presentation... there's one more to go! tats pm assignment presentation ltr at 3pm... & i'm very certain i can clear tat as well! heh... ;)
counting down to my final week in school! ending school tis fri then it'll b tests next week & finally exams e following week... wil b dyeing & highlighting my hair after exams... so yupp... looking forward to a great break after tat la... i would really really really appreciate it if ya guys can keep me in prayer... of course i pray too & i dun neglect my work... lastly, to all of ya ppl who've always been there for me, even though ya guys dun mention it, i'm really really really glad & thankful! so yupp... let's continue to grow ya?
p.s. yupp... ya guys can ask me for my test & exam dates... i believe it'll help in ur prayers more... ;)
*missing him*
His princess... out
@ |9:05 AM|
at times i really wonder, do my parents really understand how i really feel & whether they noe if i've understood wat they told me... i dunno if my parents get to read tis, but i feel i stil gotta clarify & state down here... cos i dun feel like explaining matters to them if they r reluctant & unwilling to listen to my stand, at e same time expecting me to listen to wat they say... wat for? i'd rather they read it themselves & yupp... reflect on wat they say & did...
i hear wat they haf to say but did they bother listening to me in return? i dun think so... cos if they did, misunderstandings wouldnt haf occurred, quarrels & heated arguments wouldnt haf started & reactions wouldnt b so great... & get tis right... i dun dishonor my parents... i stil respect them... but to a certain level... after wat happened, my respect for them went down a little... & yupp... i dun wish for tis to happen at all but i haf no choice... last time my temper was worse & i was even more rude... tat was when my relationship wif God wasnt stable enough... but not now... i'm a changed person... i'm glad about tis but i feel i can do more & improve more... somehow or rather, it seems tat i'm not given any room for it... pathetic aint it?
anyway... it all weighs down to e issue of allowing me to go to church for one more week... i simply dun understand y... is one more week too much to ask? & some more i'm not going for cg... am i really asking for too much? if i can make sure i come back by 3pm, i seriously dun see a prob... especially if my cg helper can help to ensure i come back immediately after lunch... i dun understand y... i seriously dun understand y... furthermore, just now she said if i wanna go to church tmr, then see wat my dad says first... if he says it's okay then i can go... tis was my dad & my conversation...
dad: ya wanna go to church tmr uh?
me: yes... i'll b back at 3pm...
dad: okay... ya must make sure uh...
me: sure...
e conversation was in chinese but i can sense my dad knows tats wat i wish for... suddenly my mum has to cut in...
mum: dun let her go la! she's supposed to stay home to revise her work...
dad: aiya... okay la... michelle... ya guai hor... stay home to do ur work k... dun go for these 2-3 weeks...
see wat i mean? who was e one who said to see wat my dad says? who was e one who said tat if my dad says i can go, means i can go? now who's going back on her word? sometimes i seriously dun understand y... y of all times, she has to cut in? when once my dad gave e green light? i was almost there... but suddenly... tat comment came in... it's like all my hopes were shattered... it's like... & yupp... if ya made a promise & i noe it, u're not supposed to break it... dun go back on ur word la... admit it & move on la...
& yupp... tis stil went on...
mum: okay... ya wanna go & listen to e sermon right? go my church la... 1 hour come back le...
ha... it seems tat she doesnt even noe e aim of y i go to my church... & i tell ya... listening to e sermon in my church & her church differs... there's a difference... it's not tat i havent been to her church for svc before... i went before & e fact tat i dun feel God's presence in her church means sth... & it's not about e distance... e distance doesnt affect my decision... as long as i live, i'm going to remain in my church, despite e outcome... get tis right... ya noe all along tat i'm not going to change church... not now, not in e past & never wil b in e future... no matter how disappointed i may b wif e ppl in my church, e fact stil stands... i'm not going to change church! so dun ever bring tis up to me...
furthermore, tmr is Dr A.R. Bernard & next week is Pastor Ulk Ekman... it's more than just e guest speakers... it's e fact tat i'm not allowed to go nor even step out of e house... where on earth do ppl behave like tis? ya should noe... e reason i go is cos of my love for God, e church & e ppl ard me... anyway... nothing i say helps... e more i say it, e more ya wil object & think i'm wrong... so wat for? i just say whatever i want... tis is my blog... i dun care...
& yupp... adding on 1 additional point... not going to church for 3 weeks wil confirm lead to a disastrous outcome... my walk wif God is more than just praying, talking to God & reading e bible... if u're genuinely a christian wif a stable relationship wif God, ya should noe... needless for me to say... taking a break from cg is bad enuff... ya noe my character... i dun like & never like to miss tis kinda things... it's part & parcel of my life...
God knows, God cares & God loves me... not only me, but it applies to all ya ppl out there... God loves ya! :)
anyway... i'm like side-tracking a little la... but i'll definitely need some reassurance... heh... ;)
it's a real tough period... but i gotta press on! >.<
p.s. i definitely hope my mum gets to read tis... no worries... tis isnt targetting to my frens... it's targetting purely to my mum... those long long paragraphs... haaaa...
His princess... out
@ |6:59 PM|
i've promised ya guys to state e link... so here ya go...
http://thewitheredfigtree.wordpress.com
i've linked it together wif my other links... happie surfing, though kinda plain... in e midst of making it look better la... so yupp... :)
His princess... out
@ |7:38 PM|
my mum stil can say, "i gif her whatever she wants & yet she isnt appreciative"... yeah... she's referring to me la... duhh... then i ask ya lo... i want to go to church... can ya allow me to do so? if cannot, then wats e point of talking so much? just requesting for one addtional week, is it too much to ask for? & she says one child is enuff... dun need another one to make her angry... ya dun wanna gif birth to another one at first so wats e point of saying? sometimes i dun understand wat she's thinking... it's better to keep my mouth shut to prevent anymore misunderstandings... yet i dun feel at ease if i dun say out & clarify... i noe i'm funny... haiz... wat to do?
God... save me!
guys, pls kindly keep in prayers if ya can... thks so much! & ya... dun feel upset if i didnt mention tis to some of ya... cos i'm lazy to repeat e whole story... yeah... just read it la... haaaa...
His princess... out
@ |7:29 PM|
& ya... i wonder if e both of ya noe e true meaning of forgiveness? even if i did sth wrong, since ya guys said u'll r gonna forgive me then y r ya stil bringing up tis matter? y do ya seem unwilling to forgive? i dunno if i'm being over-sensitive... but ya... i depict it tis way & it's gonna remain tis way if ya dun clarify... which i dun see u'll clarifying wif me all these while... it's only me who's clarifying... but stil... nothing matters now... i dun care... i'm tired of all these... really tired... all these while... starting from really minor issues but ya guys take it really seriously & think i'm being rebellious & whatsoever... & worse... refusing to clarify but 'jump' at tat instant... how to improve communication & relationship? i dun understand la...
tis situation seems familiar ain't it? heh... parents r like these... nagging at times... but stil... i'm not sure if it's e same for all parents... anyway tat applies for me la... not stereotyping...
p.s. dun ask me in detail wat happened... i'm really tired of everything... i guess some of ya would've roughly noe wat happened after reading tis post... surely tis post isnt too chim right? ;)
His princess... out
@ |8:43 PM|
anyway... i'm halfway done wif creating my second blog at wordpress... shall update ya guys when e site is okay ya... so stay tuned ya... :)
wil fill ya guys in wif my second blog add again... til then...
His princess... out
@ |9:03 AM|
so yeah... i must not gif up... :)
it's confirmed... my exams r on e 12th & 14th of feb... so do keep me in prayers... thks guys!
& yupp... oschool is fun fun fun! their teaching is of professional standards so even if ya dun haf any experience in dancing, ya can stil go for it... ya wil b able to catch it in no time... ;)
amazing... :)
His princess... out
@ |9:30 PM|
after cg, stayed for refreshment... then watched silent hill on vic's ipod... okay... i noe a bit slow la... kinda creepy... then watch halfway, nearing e end of e movie, vic's ipod ran out of battery! argh... anyway... sorrie vic for using up all of ur battery...
left together wif yating... met my parents at vivocity for dinner... at first i thot i'm gonna b really late... but in e end, my parents happened to b later than me... waited around 40 mins for them... nvm la... i'm okay wif it... at least i haf my book to tide me through while waiting... ate at hei se hui... in english it means bosses... yupp... kinda cool... e place is nicely done up, e service & ambience is good & e food is great! but e disadvantage is, it's rather ex... would recommend it if ya guys dun mind e price & stuff...
by e time we finished dinner, it was already 9 plus... so late la... went shopping... mummy bought me a denim skirt & a blouse... thks mummy! :)
mummy bought herself a top too as well as yummylicious chocolates from spain! hee... had alcoholic chocolates... once in a while la... & after tat it was home sweet home... slept rather late... around 3 plus... read a recipe book after doing my QT...
as for sunday... svc was good! duty went smoothly except tat i made a mistake... haiz... nvm la... note down where i went wrong & improve on it lo... try not to repeat e mistake in future... was glad tat conversation improved between him & i... we talked slightly more than e usual "hi & bye"... though it wasnt a sudden improvement but i'm contented... at least there's a slight improvement... celebrated burfdaes then stayed for slight discussions & i was off to join my members for lunch... took bus home then mummy called me & i accompanied her to vivocity to exchange e denim skirt cos e zip was damaged... mummy bought 2 dresses for new year... it's nice la... :)
had bread at toastbox! haaaa... it's yummylicious... so nice... bought gummies from candy empire! & off we went... gonna dye & cut my hair after exams... light brown wif blonde bah... see how...
God is good! :)
His princess... out
@ |6:15 AM|
on my way back to school just now, met some really irritating sec school students... my mood was totally spoilt by them... making one whole lot of noise as soon as they got on e bus... commenting tat corporation estate is such a poor place whereby they dun even haf money to upgrade... commenting tat dunno which school's basketball team is lousy & only got into e quarter-finals... i mean... wat right do ya haf to comment? as if u're living in a high-class estate & ur school's basketball team won all e championships... if tats true, stil, ya dun need to gif these kinda nasty comments...
afterall, jurong west sec doesnt haf tat good a reputation... so wat right do ya haf to comment? if ya want ppl to respect ya & ur school, pls begin wif respecting other ppl first... actually i can choose not to bother about wat ya guys say... ya all can say all ya want & i can just mind my own business & haf a good nap... but i just simply find tat ya guys r too much...
but e good thing is they alighted at lakeside mrt station... peace at last... heh... ;)
oh mann... feel really tired... didnt haf enuff sleep last night... yupp... hope i'll b able to finish up my part for e pm assignment by tmr... though i'm stil a bit blur over wat to do...
His princess... out
@ |10:51 AM|
went to see e doctor... yupp... it's gastric... very painful... delayed it la... e pain has been there for a few weeks le & in fact i had a history of gastric pain... but i didnt noe it was so serious... it reached e max until i couldnt even walk... haiz... e doctor gave me medication for 2 weeks & if it doesnt get better, i'll haf to go for a scope... anyway... i'm sorta prepared for it la...
but stil... everything's gonna b alright! hee... :)
His princess... out
@ |7:50 PM|
anyway... i've decided to go for my school's prom nite... haaa... finally made tat decision... & i'll b going to oschool for hip hop dance prac starting tis fri... haaaa... going thru changes, but i believe it's for e better... so yupp...
am also under a stressful period... nearing exams & all... so guys, kindly keep me in prayers ya? thks! hee... :)
His princess... out
@ |3:58 PM|
as for today... svc was great! delirious!!! they really brought down e presence of God... their songs r just power... wow! & e msg was good... yupp... i've gotta transform from a mediocre singaporean to a new singaporean... all these wif God's help... heh... ;)
after svc, stayed behind to wait for huizhen to celebrate her burfdae... she was rather surprised & didnt really expect it la... intended to get delirious compilation cd & get it personally autographed... but to no avail... it was out of stock... argh!!! sadded... hafta wait for e next round, which is gonna b rather long... haiz... no choice la... so we proceeded to bedok for lunch... thks vic for driving us there again... hee... :)
had a fun time of fellowship then i was off to aljunied for usher team outing... went to eat good food... yupp... & yeah... miss e food there la... havent been there for ages... brought back e memories... after dinner, alvin sent us to bugis mrt... thks alvin! then dawn, ros & i took mrt to clementi then took cab back to boon lay... thks dawn for ur cash as well as lending me e cd! hee... :)
alrighty... gotta listen to delirious tracks le... yeah... haaaa... & yupp... so happie i saw him today too... though it wasnt a great view... but stil, it was good... hee... :)
p.s. thks to all my team ushers who made tis outing so enjoyable! thks to kim, alvin, dawn, yvette & my dear xiao mei mei, rosalyn! next stop at kbox... heh... ;)
btw... i might b going to oschool for dance starting from tis fri evening... see how it goes bah... anyone care to join us? hee... ;)
His princess... out
@ |6:47 PM|
haf to consistently reassure my mum tat i'm fine... cos she's stil worried... haiz... wat to do? parents r like tis... so yupp... & i'm so glad tat my parents haf reached chiang mai safely... okay... i should b saying tis 2 days ago... haaaa... God is wif them... :)
right now... my main worry is my BF... afraid tat i cant fulfill, like last year... dun want history to repeat itself... but stil, am gonna trust God tat He wil provide... stil gotta pray hard for other finances to come: dance, driving, sim fees & sot... hopefully i'm able to find someone who can sponsor me... ;)
right... shall stop here... looking forward to a great weekend! :)
His princess... out
@ |11:10 AM|
haf to consistently reassure my mum tat i'm fine... cos she's stil worried... haiz... wat to do? parents r like tis... so yupp... & i'm so glad tat my parents haf reached chiang mai safely... okay... i should b saying tis 2 days ago... haaaa... God is wif them... :)
right now... my main worry is my BF... afraid tat i cant fulfill, like last year... dun want history to repeat itself... but stil, am gonna trust God tat He wil provide... stil gotta pray hard for other finances to come: dance, driving, sim fees & sot... hopefully i'm able to find someone who can sponsor me... ;)
right... shall stop here... looking forward to a great weekend! :)
His princess... out
@ |11:09 AM|
tis weekend is gonna b great! wif my cg steamboat dinner on fri, cg outing to kbox on sat & delirious on sun!!! wow! gonna b a great time of praise & worship... anyone interested, pls do leave me a tag or sth ya... ;)
after svc on sun, going for usher team outing... on a quest for yummylicious food! hee... ros, ya reading tis? would love to haf ya along for tis outing... hee... & yupp... i'll b going too... UNLESS... anything crops up...
counting e time now, mummy & daddy should've reached chiang mai... counting down to their return... kinda looking forward to it... :)
His princess... out
@ |11:58 AM|
after duty, cleared e zone then went to do recycling... after recycling, had a talk wif kim... kinda emotional talk la... she asked me about my calling, where i'm heading in cg... to b honest, tis is my most dreaded question... 2 years ago, God's calling for me was in usher... last year, God's calling for me was in cg... & tis year, i'm in between...
honestly speaking, i'm so tired of everything... tired of always braving... tired of always putting on a front, a face tat isn't myself... i wept cos i'm so tired of putting on a mask... in cg, i can b myself... but not in usher... i dunno y & i dun even noticed... it was only until kim told me about it... she wasn't fierce... she was firm... she left me wif many things to ponder about... it's not my timing, but it's God's timing... it's when i learn to love ppl more, surrender my all to God... it's all about telling God, "take all of me, i gif You my all for all of You"... tat instantly, before i even noe it, opportunities wil b here... & i noe i'll b able to rise up!
so for those of ya out there who wanna rise up but always wonder y e opportunity isn't given to ya... leave it to God yeah... stil gotta pray for God's calling... is it cg or usher? keep me in prayer guys... thks! :)
after e talk, went over to changi airport to fellowship wif my members... & after tat, it was home sweet home... as for those of ya who wanna noe e complete details about wat kim talked to me about, ya... just come & ask me... i'll b glad to answer ur queries... haaaa... but i doubt there'll b many who ask me la... anyway... shared wif elly about tis & i must say... she's a great sister! always lending a listening ear... talked to enling & a lil' to joanne too... somehow feel tat she isn't giving me her full attention so i didn't bother to tell her much... anyway... tis isn't important... wats important is i haf to pray...
tis race isn't easy to run... wats certain is God is always there, running e race tog wif me... & one thing's for sure, i've got great frens whom i noe i can count on to run e race tog wif me... :)
one of my goals for 2007 is to b a leader, being able to mould ppl's characters... & yupp... sth to leave ya guys wif... do ya wanna b a leader or a follower?
His princess... out
@ |6:38 PM|
now my mouth is swollen... both sides k... makes chewing so hard... but one thing's for sure... i can take ice-cream!!! wahahaha... my ben & jerry's ice-cream... yippee!!! okay... i think i'm crazy... e colder e food, e better it is... so yupp... hopefully i'm well enuff to present on mon... hope my voice is loud enuff la...
& yupp... i'm on mc til next tues... i'll hafta go back on mon to present e pm stuff though... it's only for e 2 hours... so i guess it's okay... anyway i dun haf a choice... supposed to present today de... but i couldn't go so my group decided to postpone e presentation to mon... so yupp... feel really sorrie...
alright... guess tis is all i haf to say for now... not really in a mood to blog anyway... but but but... svc is gonna b great!!! wif e duty & stuff... hope to really bring down e presence of God... :)
His princess... out
@ |7:08 PM|
going for wisdom tooth surgery tis fri... so wont b going to school... guess i'll be able to get an mc to cover my absence... it's definitely going to be painful but i can take it... :)
yupp... argh... haf yet to fulfill my BF... haiz... my cgl just msg-ed me to inform me... oh no... gotta pray, pray & pray...
His princess... out
@ |5:24 PM|