received a msg from seth last night... yes, God has a plan for me & He knows what i'm going through... do cherish celine ya? frens out there, do cherish your loved ones before it's too late... i know i've been saying this many times, but trust me... i've already lost a close fren, i don't wanna lose another close fren...
i know i've been neglecting some of my frens... my current classmates & course-mates: all from 1F03 & 1F04; you guys are wonderful! i would never imagine life in poly without you all...
janson, chien yen, iqlimah, fikha, charmaine, seth & celine... thanks for lending me a listening ear... angela, siangling, sharon, siew ying, valerie, darren, melvin, kooichi, matin, leonard, rajan, aaron & the rest of e 1F04 people... thanks for always bringing so much joy to e class... continue to be e joy to everyone ya? stay united always...
other people whom i wanna thank: frens past & present... be it poly, secondary school, primary school, etc... you guys will never be forgotten! all of you are pieces of memories kept in my heart, never be erased...
my mum, dad & family members... thanks for your care & upbringing these past 18+ years... i wouldn't be who i am today without you... mummy, stay pretty & healthy... daddy, stay strong & healthy too... this family needs you! i know i've been a spoilt child sometimes & i know i keep running to you whenever i have a problem... & i sometimes neglect your feelings... sorry for everything... sorry for making you worried, for making you upset, for making you angry... mummy & daddy, i love you...
my usher frens in my section... thanks for lending me a listening ear too... & always being there for me whenever i'm feeling low... you guys are great!
to e one i hold so dear to my heart: mark... thanks for your constant encouragement & guidance... even during e darkest moment of my life, you are always there for me... when no one cares, you are there to talk to me... even though we may have misunderstandings, squabbles & unhappy times, you are always the one whom i will hold dear to my heart...
last but not least... to God, my heavenly father for creating me... for knowing all my problems that i'm facing & never fail to pave a way out for me... i know the plans you have for me... thanks for being my fren too..
though e past week hasn't been easy for me, i still got to stay strong & hang tough... exams are coming too... so ya... anyone else whom i left out, so sorry... but you all will always remain in my heart...
His princess... out
@ |10:42 PM|
kai's body left his void-deck at 3.30pm & proceeded to Mandai Crematorium where e pastor talked for a while; lionel & michael went up to dedicate their speech to kaikai... tears flowed when i heard what lionel & michael said... their friendship was so strong... after their speech, e pastor went up to say a few words... from what e pastor says, i realised how much kai loved God, to e extent of how much he longed to enter into God's realm... kai has definitely been a blessing to everyone around him; & he has made an impact in so many people's lives... i believe kai has been a blessing from God...
all those who went for the service went up one by one to place chrysanthemums on kaikai's coffin... there was weeping all around... then we proceeded to e viewing hall where we sang e song amazing grace... everyone was weeping too... when we saw kai's coffin being pushed out to be buried, we cried so much... we know we could never see kaikai again... we felt so painful knowing that kaikai has left us, but there's nothing we can do... kai's already gone... we have to brace ourselves up... i'm sure kaikai doesn't want to see us feeling so upset anymore... so family & frens out there, stay strong! we'll see kaikai one day...
even after we left mandai crematorium, we could never forget what had happened over the past few days that kaikai spent in e hospital & e fact that he has left us... our memories were still so fresh... but i believe this is God's will for him, to take him away from this world, to put a stop to his suffering... since this is God's will, we should accept it ya?
i msg-ed mark & told him that i was feeling very upset... so glad that he was there for me to comfort me as well, asking me to stay strong... thanks so much! similarly, frens out there, we got to stay strong, eh? yupz... i do hope that my emotions will soon be stabilised soon, though i'm still feeling so upset... must continue to trust & abide in God... kaikai, just wanna let you know that you'll always remain in my heart & in my memories... love you always...
His princess... out
@ |6:48 PM|
i believe kai will be well-taken care of by God & i'm sure i will see him one day when i go to heaven... & at that time, i believe that kai will still be e same handsome boy i once saw... all because of God's care & love! it feels so painful when i kept crying over kai's departure, but i'm sure kai will be touched as he knows every drop of tear i shed is a tear of love... as a fren...
so frens out there, really cherish your loved ones before they are gone... it will be too late once they leave you... don't be complacent & think that there is so much time...
His princess... out
@ |1:30 PM|
after my psp walkthrough, i rushed down to kai's void-deck(that's at bukit batok st 52), & paid my respects to him... some of my other secondary school classmates were around... when qingshun brought me to kai's coffin, tears just flowed non-stop... e one whom i saw lying in e coffin wasn't e kaikai that i once knew... he looked so much different, it's like 2 worlds apart... kaikai looked so pale & bloated... it just pains all of us who saw him in that state... e past 15 days in hospital was very painful for kai... no matter how painful it was for him, he couldn't voice it out cos he was in a coma... but at least he left this world peacefully with a smile... e most amazing thing is, thank God he's saved! i saw kai's parents & his two sisters... his mum was still feeling really upset, which is expected... but his dad was strong enough to take it... haiz... hopefully, time can heal all wounds ya?
through this whole accident, miracles happened... God almost brought kai back to life! praise God! however, e last minute, something bad happened... but nevertheless, still wanna thank God! through this, non-christians came to know God & are willing to go to church; even michael said he wanna re-dedicate his life back to God! amen!!!
i've learnt so much through this accident... kaikai left unexpectedly; & this is something which no one would have imagined or believed in... it's really very sudden... now i finally know what it means to cherish your loved ones before they're gone... life is so short... we never know what may happen in future... for those who always say that they don't want to live anymore, think again... if time can rewind, i'm sure kaikai would want to live a longer life than now... to be honest, i regret not getting to know kaikai better & i regret not going to e hospital to visit him... but i must pull myself up & not feel overly-upset... kaikai doesn't want to see me cry... cos if i continue to cry, i'm assuming he's dead... but e actual fact is, he's in a better place than earth, a place called paradise...
His princess... out
@ |7:54 PM|
why do people seem like they're going against me? sensitive? yeah, some say yes, some say no... but that's what i feel or think... feel kind of neglected sometimes too... seriously speaking... i don't like this feeling... anyway, who does? hmmm... perhaps it's better to stay in e world of one's own... been going through rather alot lately... a few weeks ago, suffered a mental breakdown... and it definitely isn't a good feeling... felt really uncomfortable... the world really seems to be changing, in terms of people's character and so on... oh well, i don't really want to reveal it out... feel really tired... and i mean really... but hey, get this right people, i'm not using this as my complain channel or website or whatever you call it... i know some people might think: why this person complain so much... that's one of the purposes of a blog, somewhere you can voice out your unspoken thoughts & how you feel... yup... whatever... kay, just go and experience this yourselves & tell me if you like this kind of feeling... sorry if i sound kinda negative or what...
but there are times when others never fail to be there for me... & i really appreciate them for what they've done, even though i don't say it out... you guys are great... then again, i'm not being sarcastic... so, don't get the wrong idea... =)
i remember what my team ic told me... whatever bad experiences i have, never associate them with the word S_T_R_E_S_S... leave everything to God... through my ministry in church, have learnt alot; how to handle tough situations better, how to look at things differently... anyway, now is not the time to worry and fret about such stuffs... got more important stuffs to think about...
anyway, my final semester's exams are coming... got to jia ba jing & work harder... cannot be lazy... ya, on top of all these, really miss him even though i see him almost every weekend... hmmm... alrighty...
His princess... out
@ |6:43 AM|