so i switched on my laptop & started on CM... cos all my CM chpts r saved inside my laptop... haha... i'm lazy, tt's y i didn't buy e CM textbook, jz simply d/l fr my sch's webby... lazy? yesh, i admit i am... quite pleased wif myself larz... managed to do quite a bit... did fr 4 plus all e way to dinner-time... aft dinner, rest a while, watch a bit of tv wif my parents, den went to take a shower, & aft tt resumed wif my work till 10 plus, den came online for a while...
jz talked to him for a while... he's still in church... yepz, he always goes down on saturdays... for me, it's only sun tt i go down but not every sat... some more now making preps for exams, tt's y all e more, i cant go down cos got lotz of stuffs to do... but nvm, in 2 wks time, i'll b totally free then, cos exams r over!!! aft exams, already planned to go to amk wif my member--->eat AJ ice, den go walk walk... yup yup...
kkz, back to e topic... talked to him for a short while... & i mean it's really short... talked to him for less than 5 mins(dun ask me how long it was exactly), & tt's by far e shortest time tt i talked to him on e phone... usually i'll talk to him for more than an hr... it's not tt he's busy, in fact he's rather free now(tt's wad he told me), but i dunno y... somehow... got a feeling tt i dun really noe how to explain... & it's not a good feeling... ya...
so asked him if he's still gonna get e present on mon, & he asked me wad i intend to get... mayb a bag or sth lor... so he asked me to shop ard for e present 1st den msg him e price... but one person shop alone, ideas very limited leh! dunno if he's a little slow in thinking or wad, thot he'll get e point to go wif me to get e present... but i shan't force him cos he told me he won't b free on mon... mayb cos he got lessons in e evening, but i'm going in e afternoon leh, dunno how come he's still unable to go... but nvm, shall confirm again tmr... yes, e 'sad' part came, he told me he won't b having breakfast tmr morning... well, i'm not sad actually, rather used to it le... but dunno y, somehow i feel things don't seem positive... dun ask me y i think in this way... feel we're communicating lesser & lesser, topics talked abt r getting lesser also, times we talked on e phone also lesser(at most 5 mins or less), & we also seldom meet up for dinner now(usually we do)... haha... i can still laugh at this point... wth...
mixed feelings right now... should i give up or hold on?? feelings seem to b fading away... my mind tells me to gif up, my heart tells me to hold on, or is it e other way round? i'm not so sure... but i choose to hold on... no matter how slim e chances MIGHT seem, i still choose to hold on... ppl tell me: michelle, dun b stubborn, gif him up ba, gif him up & consider another relationship... but all i can say is: i'm NOT gonna gif up... mayb i will in a few yr's time, but so far, i dun haf e intention yet, & dun ask me why...
listening to fish leong, ru guo you yi tian(another song tt reminds me of us)... ru guo you yi tian, wo men zai jian mian, shi jian hui bu hui dao tui yi dian, ye xu wo men dou hu lue, bu xiang shang hai zhi wai de gan jue; ru guo na yi tian, wo men dou fa xian, hao ju hao san bu guo shi zhong che yan, ru guo wo men mei fa xian, jiu gei bi ci duo yi dian shi jian...
haha... nice song ain't it? really meaningful(listen to e lyrics if any of u got e chance)... btw it's jz e chorus only... anyway, i should b thinking of my preps 1st, not him... after all, i'll b seeing him in church tmr... so no matter wad, i hope i won't be affected... jz gonna do my duty properly... it's late now, gotta go sleep soon, if not i'll oversleep... mz haf enough rest, if not i'll haf tt panda look-alike... haha... lame... yepz, so this ends my entry tonight... wanna go rest le...
feeling: tired, really tired...
His princess... out
@ |7:59 PM|