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Monday, November 01, 2004

noticed i haven't blogged for a few days le... wad to do? i'm jz plain lazy... noticed my memory's failing me... cant rmbr wad happened a few days ago... looking at e past me, i could even rmbr wad happened a few yrs back; i could even rmbr e directions very clearly... but now, it's like i cant really rmbr e direction; i'm like unsure whether e direction of e place i walked is correct... take for instance e malaysia trip: my family used to rely on me regarding e direction we're heading; they asked me if we walked correctly & i told them we're heading e right way, but deep down, i'm actually unsure of it... of course not e malaysia trip only, but other stuffs as well...

y is it so? y is my memory failing? is there sth wrong wif me? or is it i'm thinking too much?

for e past few days, many questions were weighing in my mind... even now, e questions r still left unanswered... i'm not sure wad i'm thinking of exactly, but i feel a weight pressing down in my mind... i'm not even sure who i can turn to for an ans--->i'm talking abt a close fren, a fren i always hang out wif; but obviously, i'll still turn to God for e ans..

guess ppl must b surprised, regarding e area tt i'm unsure of who i can turn to for an ans... many ask me, "i thot u haf so many frens who're able to help u? wad r u worried abt?" hmmm... it's true tt i haf many frens ard me who cares for me, like my cg members & my close frens... but i feel tt things r not e same as it used to b... circumstances haf changed...

i dunno y things turn out like this... but guess i'm not as positive as i used to b... though i always encourage all my frens to look on e positive side, but i don't seem to b able to solve my own probs... no matter how crazy or lame i seem, deep down i feel kinda empty... i feel VERY tired... VERY...

e reason i don't really tell everyone my probs, b it e past present or future, is tt i don't want others to worry for me... & i believe i'm able to solve my own probs... furthermore, over wad happened some time ago, i'm unsure whether i can ever confide in them...

i somehow haf many many things to type down here, but it's gonna b a very long entry... i also dun wanna type it out... very tired of thinking too much... anyway, things r not e same as it used to b... circumstances haf changed...

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His princess... out
@ |12:50 PM|